Life.

Still here.

Yesterday was certainly an eye-opener for me. I spent most of the day talking to my best friends and reflecting on things in life. I am so grateful for the wonderful friends in my life and I'm so happy where I am in my life today.

I realized also that a lot has changed within the last year. I spent too much time trying to save a relationship that was a lost cause. Though I do have some regrets about all that time wasted, I also believe it's shaped me into the person I am today.

I've become a stronger person. I've also learned what I deserve and what I don't. I will no longer take crap from people who only want to put me down and make me feel bad about myself.

If there's one thing I take pride in, it's my loyal friendship. I'm not popular, but I have good friends. And if I consider you to be a good friend, you know that my friendship is honest and loyal and I would do just about anything for you. That's just the person I am.

I've lost good friends along the way, and it's unfortunate. I won't lie and say it doesn't matter to me, because it does. These people were once a big part of my life and now they've changed and gone.

However, I am a fighter. I've tried to save some friendships but there's only so much fighting you can do when you're the only one invested in the relationship. There can't be much outcome when only one person cares.

I've lost relationships, I've lost friends, and I've lost love. But within all these loses, I believe I've gained more. I've gained experience, I've learned lessons, I've become stronger, and I've learned to love myself.

I'm thankful for those friends who have stuck by me through thick and thin. And I'm also thankful for those who have left, because they've changed me in ways I needed to grow in. I don't wish harm on anyone, and I've already forgiven those who have hurt me the most.

I see no need in holding grudges and I wish the best for those I've lost. If things happen for a reason, I think I've found the reason in all this.

I know now that forgiveness is key to living a full, happy life. Though I may still be hurt by recent events, I know time will make the pain pass and I will have learned more valuable lessons in my life.

I'm not bitter - I don't blame peoples actions for the things that have gone wrong in my life. But rather, I am thankful. I love myself today and I believe that good will come from all these experiences.

I've loved and I've lost  but I've gained so much more.

Sincerely,
J